as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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