I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
