so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And then my night got REAL pukey
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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