Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
well you can't waste a boner
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
