They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My bed smells like the plague
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
