so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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