So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
