Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
