I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
