He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
