he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
