i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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