It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
