there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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