with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
