A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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