He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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