shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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