Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My first STD was from a foam party
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
