i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
