yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
