thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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