I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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