I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
