i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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