I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Someone came in the potted fern
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
