dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
