Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
