Having a random hookup so left but love u
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
