You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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