literally had 100 drinks last night.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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