How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
