you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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