you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
