I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
