as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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