I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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