I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
