I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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