he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
