just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
