If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
