i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
