her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
