Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
