They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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