is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
