dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
