I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
