I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
