Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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